George Wickham and the If Else Conditional Statement

Well, it’s 1am and I’m out of other things to do today, so naturally I’m thinking about George Wickham.

The latest Pemberley Digital video merits a lot of further thought. The writers of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries have been really motive-conscious, and the same will be true of George Wickham as was true of Lydia: we may not agree with his choices – we may want to fillet him using a butter knife – but we probably will understand more about them before series end.

Based on the direction in which these videos have been travelng, I posit the following:

1. Lydia cannot end up with George Wickham.

No matter what the truth is behind that tape, there is one thing that he did that is damning beyond damnation for the writers to allow Lydia to recover her relationship with Wickham:

“He said I didn’t love him as much as he loved me and I needed to prove it.”

And to prove it she had to film herself having sex with him.

Make absolutely no bones about it, that is an emotionally abusive bastard who deserves and needs several years of counseling and/or several swift kicks to the groin area, EVEN if he said so because he was trying to get this plan in action to cover his debts. There are many stories in which characters end up with  abusive bastards; hell, the original version of this tale is one of them. This is not that story. This story is not (mainly) about the ludicrousness and unfairness of society’s strictures. This is about young women finding themselves, their careers, and love in this era. Let me remind you what Mary Kate Wiles said in our exclusive interview of a few weeks ago, when asked where Lydia will be in ten years:

MKW: I honestly do not know what Lydia will be doing, or who with, but she will know who she is.

Think about who Lydia was when she was with George: That sadder, watered down version of the spunky diva we met over 80 previous LBDs. That is not the Lydia this series will allow her to become.

2. No matter how it all happened, George cannot be absolved of blame for that sex tape.

Even if there is partial truth to his story, his urging for the creation of that tape led to all of this. He had to tell someone it existed for it to be stolen. He is responsible.

There does seem to be some shred of…not truth, but something, to what he is saying. It is likely not the whole story to say George is simply selling a tape. First of all, as many readers have pointed out, George is not going to have the IQ and technical mojo to set up these Web sites so that the leaders of a digital powerhouse company cannot track its owners. There’s more to this.

In the book, George Wickham’s accomplice is Mrs. Younge, Georgiana’s former governness. Is there a Younge character with whom he is in cahoots, who is about to make an appearance?

Here’s another theory:

George and Lydia met up in Vegas. The original George Wickham had (scandalous for the time) gambling debts. What if this one did too? And what if it was to the owner of this Novelty Xposures, who said he could erase his debts with this sex tape? And don’t forget what he said to Lydia in one of her videos: After what I did for you in Vegas? Did HE cover a debt? Save her otherwise, somehow? It’s not like Lydia to rack up gambling debts when there are parties to be had, so my bet is the latter.

It would explain why he is “hiding out” until the whole thing blows over. Because once it does and the owner makes his/her money, he’ll be in the clear. But not until then. And if he doesn’t show his face, he won’t be tracked down and made to spill.

Without a doubt, George has used Lydia in an unforgivable way, the same way that the original Wickham did. And while I’ve seen some fussing online about how no one is really asking Lydia what she wants, all that is based on the idea that, well, people who have seen Lydia’s reactions are dumb. Once you see her reaction you know the only thing to do is to stop this. But before we know for certain (video 86) that Lydia did not consent to the tape being posted, all we know about Darcy’s ongoings is that he is trying to find Wickham/the owner of the site. When a countdown is ticking, you spring into action. If it turned out Lydia was totally OK with it and the post was what she wanted, too? There would be nothing under the blue sky to be done. But with the LIKELIHOOD being that a dastardly man has done another dastardly thing, you don’t wait to find out for sure; go find the man, at least, to figure out the story. In the original story Lydia was at the complete mercy of all the male figures around her; they literally decided whether or not she was getting married.

Let’s not pretend that the original version was any kinder to Lydia’s voice. It wasn’t Lydia who made the choice to get married: it was determined she would/could because it was the deal Darcy struck with Wickham regarding his debts and all the other arrangements. Hell, Darcy stayed in town to loom over the whole proceeding to make sure it happened at all. Were it Lydia’s choice, they would have been married before anyone was looking for them. And it being what she preferred does not at all mean she was the agent of it.

We should also talk about:

The title of the last video. “If Else.”

“If else” is programming language. Now, titles of Domino videos are a little bit problematic because who determines them? Shouldn’t they just be, “Domino Web Upload #1,” etc.? So, either Domino picks up on a thematic work and posts it, or there’s a post-facto editor who fixes the title. (Or we just go with the leap of faith required for Domino in general, which is also required for this whole narrative line.)

Asking me to talk about anything relating to programming language is like asking Wil E. Coyote to just catch the damn road runner already, so I asked a programmy friend to describe it in layman’s terms. Here is what he said (which is just halfway to layman land):

“It’s what’s called a conditional. Depending on if the condition that you pass is true, it will run the code within that block. If it is false, it runs code within the else block.”

If…else. If X is true, do A. If X is not true, do B.

How does this relate to this video? Why would this video be called that?

I thought at first it was a nod to, “If all else fails.” That would make some sense.

What condition are we talking about here? The whole of George’s story? Because obviously that’s not true, so we run with “else.” What is the else?

IF(Darcy+Fitz)=FindingGeorge

Is not true, then,

ELSE(SICK GEORGIANA ON HIM)

Yes?

I’m interested to hear your theories on this!