The glee club decides to help out coffee chugging, Crocs-wearing Brittany by singing her Britney Spears songs. First up are Blaine and Artie with a mash up of “Boys” and “Boyfriend” by Justin Bieber. It’s a really fun number if you ignore the fact that Blaine’s gay and Artie actually did used to be her boyfriend. There’s some seriously great chair choreography and these two capture the boy band essence well. They should recruit Bieber expert Sam, find some mesh shirts and cowboy hats, and form an actual boy band so we can finally hear some Backstreet Boys and ‘N Sync songs on the show.
Over in New York City, Rachel is still being tormented by Cassandra July. Cassandra refuses to teach her the tango on account of how unsexy she is. It’s still unclear why she’s decided to single out Rachel as the object of her torture, but we do find out why she’s so bitter. Kurt informs her of Cassie’s disastrous Broadway past in their new obscenely large apartment. We find out Cassandra went off on a man after his phone rang during one of her performances in a Patti LuPone-esque moment. The whole thing was captured on video, ending her Broadway career before it ever really started.
Rachel, who’s apparently living in 1983 where “Cats” is still on Broadway and Barbra Streisand has just starred in “Yentl,” has no idea about Cassandra July’s past. Even following this odd canon where Rachel Berry is dubiously ignorant of Broadway’s recent shows and scandals, she still should have checked her new professors Wikipedia pages before the first day of class. It’s practically a requirement for incoming freshman so they can feel sufficiently intimidated by their new teachers.
After receiving this knowledge, Rachel decides to take matters into her own hands and recruits Brody – who’s casually doing push-ups on a park bench, as one does – to help her out with a sexy dance number.
Kurt also reveals his plans to work for Vogue.com and apply to NYADA second semester. This is the second time in two weeks they’ve mentioned second semester auditions. When they bring it up next week they should just add a caption saying THIS IS FORESHADOWING WINK, WINK.