McKinley newbie Marley is crushing on fellow new kid Jake, but Unique tells her his freshman self has been making his way through every girl in school. She then launches into “Womanizer” and Unique, Tina, and Marley dance all around the school, collecting back-up dancers as they go. It’s an ok number, but Unique has shown us in the past that she can be much more enthralling than this. Like the whole episode, I can’t quite figure out what this sequence is lacking exactly.
In the choir room, Tina, Joe, and Sam sing an acoustic version of “3” for the week’s assignment. They all sound great; particularly Joe, but they don’t explain why they chose this song. Or why they’re singing about threesomes.
Britt gets up to shave her head in the middle of the performance, which leads to a full-on Britney Spears-style meltdown. It’s actually done quite well, but at the same time made me kind of uncomfortable. The actual Britney Spears breakdown was not funny at all, and this just felt unnecessarily mean. It leads to Blaine, Artie, and Tina realizing that singing at her is maybe not their best plan of action, so they instead invite her to sing lead at the fall kickoff assembly. Brittany says she’ll only do it if she can lip sync and the club begrudgingly goes along with it.
Jake Puckerman has been skipping class, and is caught by Mr. Schue illegally riding his scooter through the hallways. I didn’t even know people still had scooters, but I guess this is what a 14-year-old considers rebellious. Jake does take time out of being a bad boy failure to sing a mash up of “Crazy”/”You Drive Me Crazy” with Marley. The number is cute, and the lens flares are a nice touch, but I still don’t get why I’m supposed to care about these characters. Or why Marley insults his hair. It feels like there’s a missing scene somewhere that establishes why they like each other and why we like them too. Oh, and Jake sounds a bit like Kermit the Frog. But hey, I love Kermit.