(Opinion) A Very Scroogey Christmas Special


Founder

Ten thoughts about last night’s GLEE:

1. I wish they’d just give up and make episodes full of hilarious one-liners instead of continuing to come up with these halfassed attempts at plots.

2. Am I the only one who remembers Rachel is Jewish? DOESN’T SHE?

3. “Don’t They Know It’s Christmas” is a song that, while touching in a very First World Problem sort of way, should only be trotted out on telethons. After a year which contains more than its fair share of charity work, I make no apologies for sitting comfortably with my family on Christmas morning, in a house we’ve earned, opening presents we bought with money made from hard work. We don’t buy each other gifts because we have to, and we would be fine if we didn’t buy each other a thing: we like to do it. The song is designed to make me feel bad about that, and I have a one-finger response to it. And the day I wander into a homeless shelter and start singing at them them to FEED THE WORLD I want someone to chuck me right into a mental institution.

Also… shameless, Glee. Shameless. Last year, handicapped; this year, homeless. Oh, and when we need some warmth let’s have Sue talk about her dead handicapped sister. And turn nice again. Next year’s Christmas special: Lepers and Cancer Patients! And then they’ll sing “Heal the World” at them.

4. I don’t care how often it’s lumped in with Christmas, “My Favorite Things” is not a Christmas song.

5. I don’t know where the haters come from on Damian McGinty. He’s adorable and Blue Christmas was lovely. Maybe if we did MORE with him, others could see that.

6. Artie’s super expensive magic legs broke? This is one of Glee’s habitual throwaway lines that they think suffice for plot, because they are too lazy to figure out how to make that plot point make sense in the story. ‘freakin ‘ell, Glee.

7. The Christmas special was boring, full of crazy caricatured acting, and referencing something most people aren’t even old enough to know exists. Glee does this hilarious thing where sometimes it’s super pop-sensitive, doing Ke$ha and C-Lo, and then insists that we pay homage to Judy Garland and Babs as though any self-respecting teen knows all about them. But, quick thing… if they don’t, THIS IS NOT THE WAY to show how awesome they were. “Happy Days,” THAT was the way. Desaturated Swiss Chalet is not.

8. “But if you finally hold me tight”?

??

9. At least someone made fun of Blaine’s clothing, because honestly, it feels like a crime against Darren.

10. This SHOULD be Glee’s wheelhouse: a super light, enjoyable, Christmas review. Why twist it into this faux 50-year-old play? Is it so inconceivable that the Glee chorus puts on a Christmas show for the school? Don’t most schools DO that? If Ryan Murphy et al can’t make some good plot involving actual high schoolers out of that, instead of forcing teens to act like middle-aged crooners in Pleasantville, they have given up.

Don’t give up, Glee. It could be good. But not like this.

(One last thing: Whoever is styling Amber Riley should be given a medal. Girl looks amazing.)


Best lines and reactions:

1. “Oh my god I’m dating Kim Kardashian.”

2. Two Darren Criss moments: the reaction to “Young Burt Reynolds” and Kurt’s “Jesus?”

3. “I may actually be dead right now.”

4. Rachel’s face on, “Are you telling me I’m not invited to Kurt and Blaine’s for Christmas?”

5. “You gave me a dead pig for Christmas?”

6. “My brother Seamus gets lost all the time so my dad made him wear a bell around his neck.”

  • Quafflesnitch

    I completely agree with number 9.

  • http://twitter.com/lizinprogress Liz

    God, SING IT SISTER.

    I just… Glee, you are killing me right now. You have these bright shining moments of awesome that make my heart swell. But you bury it under PILES AND PILES AND PILES of crap. And yet, I can’t stop watching. (I blame Darren Criss and Chris Colfer – the most darling individuals AND pairing, at least when the show allows them to be.)

    Last night was pretty awful. A few moments of funny, but mostly awful. And THANK YOU, I’m not the only one who gets annoyed as hell that Rachel forgets that she’s Jewish during the Christmas episode?

    I agree with you on nearly all points, the only exception being that I am one of those people who simply does not get the appeal of Damian McGinty. But maybe you’re right – maybe if the show gave him something to do instead of just random bits and pieces to annoy me and fulfill his contract…

    And SERIOUSLY… I am a grown woman. Why do I get so worked up about this damn show, and why can’t I stop watching it?

    • http://twitter.com/when_she_smiles lindsay

      I’m the same way. Glee irritates me every week but I keep watching. I say it’s just for Darren, but…

  • http://twitter.com/AntaraC Antara Chowdhury

    Yes. All of this.

  • http://twitter.com/cbm321 cbm321

    I saw Glee at the O2 in London this summer, it was uplifting and had me psyched for the new season. But now, is it too soon to wonder if Glee is done? Or is it just done as a cultural phenomenon? Is the end in sight? Asking those questions a year ago would be unthinkable. But the quality has just not been there. There have been small moments of the old Glee, but not enough.

    I will keep watching the rest of the year, but next year, I am not sure. Hopefully the second half of this season will be much better and pull me out of my Glee funk!

    Or am just being too negative?

  • http://ipresentyoutheworld.tumblr.com Shana Debusschere

    I loved it.

  • Juliekarre

    Well said. I’m doing an Artie finger wave in support.

    Although, I think that it’s hilariously Rachel to forget that she’s Jewish in order to give a 15-item list it Finn.

    I love Damian McGinty. I hope the episodes in which he sits in the back of the choir room smiling don’t count towards his 7 episode feature. Love that Rory says “mommy,” too.

    In the same vain of the throw-away plot lines, how is the Glee Club back together when Santana, Brittney, and Mercedes wouldn’t sing back up to Rachel and Blaine, and then did just that. And where the hell is Sugar Modda?.!? I loved her.

  • Jess Neiterman

    #2. That bothered me the entire episode! Especially since she was being so selfish.

  • Valcollins10

    Absolutely not. I’m sorry Melissa, but I was having far too many nerdgasms during the Chalet Christmas Special Extravaganza, and I think Glee should just become a Welk-esque show starring Berry, Jones, Hummel, and Anderson – complete with a laugh track and tacky dance numbers. ROFLDM.

  • Maryn

    I agree with all of this except that the black-and-white Cristmas special was literally the best thing ever. EVER. I was smiling and laughing like a maniac and loving every second of it!! Totally redeemed this entire season for me. (However, I do admit that my unstable state of mind from exam overload may have played a role how hilarious I found it!)

  • Rachel

    I enjoyed the Christmas episode. Yes, it was super corny and ridiculous, but I like that about Christmas specials! The thing that annoyed me the most (and this isn’t meant to be negative towards Matthew Morrison’s directing) was the awkward camera cuts. Sometimes I almost got nauseous watching it flick from one person or one angle to another. A lot more awkward than they usually are … not sure why. LOVED “Let it Snow” … Kurt and Blaine (but really Chris and Darren) can do no wrong in my eyes!

  • Yearbook_girl

    Omigoodness, just glee being so back and forth about things, about what it wants to be…it’s why I stopped watching. It used to be about show choir and singing songs and musical theatre. Now it’s drama and silliness and everyone’s been with everyone. I put up with it for two seasons but I can’t watch anymore, not even for Darren who I love with all my heart. I get so frustrated watching. I wish it could figure itself out.

  • http://www.worldwidecosplay.com/products/Product_422.html Ellehoward88

    I didn’t realize Christmas is coming so soon. A beautiful end of a happy year, an encouraging beginning of a new year.

  • http://twitter.com/kzhines Katie Hines

    Did we all forget that Puck is Jewish too? That bothered me the entire episode.

  • Raggsknaggs

    I think that they just need to work harder to keep a good plot that continues from week to week. Glee should not become a sitcom.

  • http://twitter.com/JoshWatchinTV Osh Gosh Ba Josh

    “4. I don’t care how often it’s lumped in with Christmas, “My Favorite Things” is not a Christmas song.”

    THIS! A MILLION TIMES THIS!!!! When I was a slave to the retail world, it was ALWAYS played during the holidays. It’s a showtune! RRRRRAARRRRR!

  • http://twitter.com/JoshWatchinTV Osh Gosh Ba Josh

    Also, “Desaturated Swiss Chalet” is the title of my memoirs.

  • kcb

    This show is all about the musical numbers for me. I gave up on following the plot in the 1st season when nothing seemed to ever go the way I wanted it. Also I hate it when they turn the show into a musical instead of us just watching their performances. It’s just too dorky at those points. Recently I did catch myself watching for signs that Darren is head over heals for Lea. He kept staring at her in many of their songs in this episode… But yeah anyways Boo plot! or lack thereof…