“Like a spool of pink taffy, messy but fun to watch” sums up the season premiere of The Vampire Diaries pretty well, thanks Silas. It was great to see the Mystic Falls crew back on screen and having a ball, but overall “I Know What You Did Last Summer” was a mess. The college transition year is always harsh for teen based shows, Gilmore Girls, Buffy, and Dawson’s Creek all struggled to stay afloat as their characters moved from lockers to keg stands. The thing is, The Vampire Diaries doesn’t really need college. The only human left is Matt Donovan who is not going to college. It seems counterintuitive. Elena and Caroline will be college aged forever; why not wait until 2050 when things have calmed down a bit? Oh yeah, because this is a television program and not real life.
Looking past the Mystic Falls/Whitmore divide, which was surprisingly the most concrete part of the episode, the rest of the season premiere was all over the place. Between the Silas/Stefan, human Katherine, and dead Bonnie plots there was plenty to deal with in the first episode of Season 5. Too much new information was covered in a short period of time. It was unnecessary to introduce the season 5 arcs so quickly. The whole thing with Matt and this Nadia girl and weird roommate’s connection with Elena’s dad felt forced. What is up with Nadia? Is Matt possessed by Demon’s now or something? That’s what black eyes generally mean. Ugh, too much information. Seriously, give these poor kids (sorry independently rich kids) some time to deal with their dead-lying best friend, drowning ex-boyfriend, and ninja little brother before delving into the supernatural stuff. The Vampire Diaries usually expertly handles multiple plot lines, but this episode was just too much. We shouldn’t need a lie tracker in the first episode of the season, but alas we do.
Jeremy is lying to everyone about Bonnie being dead.
Damon is lying to Elena about Silas, Jeremy getting expelled, and a bunch of other stuff. Great start to a relationship.
Nadia is lying about just being a European girl up for a good time with two hot blondes.
Bonnie is lying to herself that anyone still wants her on this show (ok that may be just my opinion).
Elena and Caroline lie to the police about having dead roommate’s phone. Where are we, Rosewood?
Katherine is definitely lying about being weak. She may be slower as a human, but she’s still a total badass.
Stefan is lying in a box under water.
The episode wasn’t all bad though. It was great to see Elena so happy. Three months of constant sexcapades will do that to you. Elena’s sex fueled summer glow really shouldn’t be possible for a vampire, but hey she’s smiling for a change. Silas is right, human really does suit Katherine. Her character is going to be fascinating this season. Damon and Jeremy’s burgeoning relationship came across really well. They have never played nice, but Damon will truly do anything to make Elena happy even add mini-Gilbert to his bro club of one. Moreover, they genuinely seem to care about each other.
The best part of the season premiere, Clare Holt’s cameo. Matt Donovan the sole survivor of Team Human wins the summer story off hands down. Yes we know Matt is sexy, but a threesome with Rebekah and some random (not so random) European, you go dude. Losing Joseph Morgan and Daniel Gilles to The Originals hurt, but Clare Holt’s departure is so worse. She is a huge part of Mystic Falls and brings life and emotion to every scene, but we must say goodbye and wish Rebekah luck in New Orleans. Damon and Elena may have had sex for 3 months straight, but the kiss of the night award indisputably belongs to Rebekah and Matt. So before Rebekah begins her new life in New Orleans I leave you with this.
A bumpy start is not unusual for The Vampire Diaries and as we move further into season 5 things surely will level out. The crew has more to deal with upfront this season then ever before. First things first, get Stefan out of that damn box.
What did you think of the season 5 premiere of The Vampire Diaries? Is Matt possessed by demons? Will Elena and Caroline actually go to class? Does Damon now have to go to parent-teacher conferences? Leave your thoughts in the comments.
The Vampire Diaries airs Thursday at 8/7c on The CW