We’re off to the runway! I’m excited to see what the designers – okay, Heidi… what the hell?
Straight!Colin says: I think Heidi raided Farrah Faucett’s estate sale.
Maybe I need to pick up a Vogue or something, because I just do not understand what Heidi is wearing anymore. That is a snakeskin print slouchy… track suit? Has she been spending time in Dallas? Did Ana Wintour authorize this?
I’m glad we’ve stopped listing Michael Kors many accolades and just resolve to call him a top designer. I think that’s sufficient. On to the looks!
Gunnar – There’s something very mod about this look, and it’s not just the checkerboard print. Maybe it’s the silhouette. I can’t really tell though, because it makes her look stupid boxy. That peplam looks like the apron from a slutty maid costume. I really don’t know what to do with this, and I’d lay down my own size 12 pumps that he’s FLABBERGASTED when he doesn’t win. The collar bunches and it’s weird. However, it’s cleaner than a lot of other looks on the runway. On second thought, he’ll hit top three. But he still won’t win.
Sonjia – For someone who was talking about the looks being wearable, we have something that looks a little bit not. That being said, this is a great overall aesthetic. She uses different candies of similar textures, and it’s a pretty solid look overall. I’m not sure about that plate hat, though.
Melissa – There’s a good look here, especiallty with the licorice wheels, but we see a little too much of the black lining. Something tells me the judges won’t think it’s transformative enough. I like the knotting of the little leathery harness, but it feels almost dumpy. There’s something very Mary Kate about it. She’ll be safe I’m sure.
Nathan – This is a gorgeous piece of couture. There’s a jewel effect in candy foil that is mesmerising, and he’s managed to utilize that to maximum effect. He absolutely will lose points because she’s having to hold it on. He should have used some industrial strength belting underneath and patched it over with a bon bon or something. The bodice is fierce, but the stying is a little off. I feel like the hair should be down, and she needs a necklace. She looks a little… bare. Or rushed, which is actually more likely the case. If any of the judges watch Toddlers and Tiaras, though, maybe they’ll just think she’s cupcaking.
Andrea – Nina is certainly thinking something, but I don’t know what. This really could have worked if it fit her a little better. It looks like the denizens of Candy Land decided to put on a production of Sweeney Todd. And what sort of Madame Defarge pose is this model doing? I don’t even.
Alicia – A pixelated problem. Her drawing was promising but the execution is weak. If you’re going to do a peek at something underneath, why not play off the concepts that candy inherently provides? Fruit or cream filling, a surprise inside… something other than white chocolate glued to a bra you made. You made a muslin overall and glued candy to it. And it makes her look weird.
Elena – So, it’s not just boring. It’s not just that you can see the muslin. It’s not even that it’s falling apart. I think the biggest travesty is that the model isn’t putting in just a little more effort. I know they’re supposed to look emotionless or whatever, but this is downright stinkface. It could be that she’s about to vomit from all the face pineapple smell, but still. Also, Elena, what the hell?
Fabio – While still built onto a traditional textile, he used the candy to transform the fabric. He didn’t just glue it on, he used it to change the fabric. That’s clever. Probably not a win – that bodice is a little too Betty Rubble – but certainly not a loss. It shows both creativity and thought without looking hectic or predictable.
Dmitry – There’s a fun flamenco thing going on here, especially with the beaded fringe. I think this will work against him, but I really like it. It’s certainly a wearable look, and the beading (such as it is) looks well thought out, but I don’t think it’s transformative enough. Better than some of the other stuff, but not quite hitting the sweet spot. (Yes, I just did that)
Kooan – I can’t… I still don’t have words. Other than hakuna matata.
Christopher – Nina is not impressed. It looks… alright. He was ambitious in construction, but not in design. They will likely criticise him for not using his immunity as fully as he could. It’s very stiff and the coloring makes her look like a big, art deco bruise. Gunnar is rolling his eyes as if he just sent down the Bob Mackie of candy dresses. Dial it back.
Raul – The top is still devine, but I am not loving the skirt at all. The midrift seems poorly thought out and isn’t cut very well. And when she turns around, i totally lose interest. The gummi strawberries were a terrible idea; he should have stuck to the cooler palette. And I don’t think he should have added the textile ruffle at the bottom; I’d have gone with a pencil skirt. Still, not terrible. Just not as good as I was hoping.
Buffi – The bodice is amazing and the styling is great, but I worry about the skirt being so… easy. She pulled the sour sugar stips just a little bit better than Raul did. And the model is working it – smiling, sweet, and sugary in her own right. Looks like an extra from Katy Perry’s California Gurls video – in the BEST way. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a win, but the textile usage may prevent that.
Lantie – It’s not a bad look, it’s just a bad look for this challenge. That’s a textile with a few candies glued to it. Not transformative or unconventional at all. She wouldn’t expect anyone else to wear it, but apparently she’s not aware of the Mercado Chic looks that fly around in the south and on the west coast.
Ven – For some reason, all I can picture is Catherine O’Hara in Beetlejuice. I can see the stained glass influence, but the colors don’t pop nearly enough and the styling is a little week. She looks like a table lamp from the 80s. But you know, it’s probably the cleanest look in terms of execution, so maybe it will net him a win. I’m just not a fan.